We did it, people! We made it to the end of Becca’s season of The Bachelorette. And let me tell you, it was… pretty boring. What courteous and respectful way will Becca let this guy down? What sub-par board of tourism paid them enough this season? Which square headed white dude will she choose?! Riveting stuff.
Unfortunately, in the end, Becca ended up with Garrett “I didn’t mean to like those memes” Yrigoyen and Blake cried into a towel on national television. It wasn’t the happy ending I was hoping for Becca, but, as much as I have a thing for Blake’s capable arms, I’m not sure he would have been a good choice in the end either. He really showed his insecurity and I wanted to swaddle him more than marry him. I think Becca was stuck between a rock and a bigoted place and she chose the guy with the red flag she didn’t know about.
Speaking of red flags, I was sure they were going to give some vague apology for Garrett’s online behavior, so color me surprised when they addressed Garrett’s meme-gate in length on After the Final Rose. The apology was pretty lame, though: “he didn’t mean it” and he “never meant to offend anyone” are not really excuses for liking a lot of bigoted and racist posts. As much as I’m sure he’s “grown as a person”, I still don’t trust a 29-year-old man who thinks the survivor of a school shooting was a crisis actor.
Garrett’s meme scandal is particularly frustrating when put in context of the other contestants: runner-up Blake was a survivor of a school shooting himself and spoke publicly about it on the show and second runner-up Jason supported his gay brother on Men Tell All saying “love is love is love”. Not to mention Becca’s pretty public liberal views – she’s an outspoken Hillary supporter and has supported Planned Parenthood and the Women’s March publicly, too.
At the end of the day, though, if Becca is happy taking on that emotional labor in her relationship that’s her decision. Lord knows she’s a much more patient and understanding lady that I am. I just think the whole situation speaks to the politically neutral nature of the show and how that’s back firing more and more often for them. When your show’s audience is primarily liberal millennial women, it’s hard to champion a guy like Garrett and his views. This came up a lot during Rachel Lindsay’s season – who could forget when systemic racism was explained on Men Tell All – and I think politics is going to creep in more and more each season. In 2018, you can’t ignore the enormous political divide in this country and even Bachelor Nation isn’t safe.
But moving on: other than Garrett’s closely monitored Instagram account and Lincoln’s conspicuous absence from Men Tell All, there was just not a whole lot of excitement this season. Luckily for Bachelor Nation, there’s always another “most dramatic season ever” to look forward to. And they wasted no time with last night’s premiere of Bachelor In Paradise.
I boycotted BIP last season after their ridiculous we-don’t-want-to-get-sued speech about consent on the show, but have been lured back in with an all-star cast and a limit on contestants’ alcohol consumption. With lots of recent Bachelor alums including hometown hero Grocery Joe and villain power couple Jordan and Krystal, I have a feeling we’ll make up for the drama we didn’t get on Becca’s season. (I didn’t watch the premiere last night cause I have a LIFE, but I’ll post on Instagram when I do). I’m also excited just to get to know people more – Who are you taxidermy Kendall? What’s Eric Bigger been doing all year? Is Leo’s hair full of secrets?
But the real question everyone wants the answer to is: Who will be the next Bachelor? And oh, do I have theories. But first, let’s talk a little bit about how they make this decision.
A lot of things can affect the selection of the next Bachelor or Bachelorette. I listened to an interview with ABC’s head of Alternative Programming, Robert Mills, recently where he spoke a little about this process and he touched on several things that they take into consideration when choosing a bachelor or bachelorette:
- Relevance – Has this person been on the show recently? Have they stayed active in Bachelor Nation? Rachel Lindsay is a great example of this since she had just been on the most recent season of The Bachelor and was still very much on Bachelor Nation’s radar.
- Story – Are we rooting for them? Do they have a great back story or did something really dramatic and devastating happen to them? Becca wasn’t an obvious choice for Bachelorette until she got dumped by Arie – then suddenly her story of redemption made her a perfect candidate.
- Personality – Can they carry an entire show? This is why someone like Grocery Joe, although beloved by the public, could not be the Bachelor. He’s too quiet and wouldn’t open up enough.
- Different from past seasons – Are they a different type of lead than the last Bachelor or Bachelorette? Juan Pablo wasn’t a natural choice for Bachelor, but after Sean Lowe’s pretty chaste season the franchise needed a little shaking up.
Keeping all the above criteria in mind, I’ve laid out 8 pretty agreed upon candidates for Bachelor. Obviously there are more and I have a feeling Paradise is going to play a role in who is chosen, but as of right now these are the people on the radar of Bachelor Nation. Let’s bring in the (world’s most crudely made) bracket…
- Wills. The most GIFable contestant ever and can pull off a romphim. Who wouldn’t marry him (besides Becca obviously)? He has a strong base rooting for him, but I think he’s ultimately too reserved to carry the whole show.
- Grocery Store Joe. An unexpected fan favorite. The world just couldn’t let Joe go after his night one exit this season, but I think Paradise is as far as he’ll go. He isn’t the most talkative of the bunch and I think would just pick some girl on the first night saying “she seems nice”.
- Eric Bigger. I think Eric has a really good chance of making a comeback. He’s on Paradise this season, he had a good story on Rachel’s season, and has a LOT of abs. I would not be mad to see an Eric season.
- Colton. As much as Colton has all the qualities of a great bachelor, I think he shot himself in the foot with the Tia drama, especially now that he’s on Paradise. I just don’t think audiences would believe he’s ready for love again after all of it.
- Blake. Sweet baby Blake. I love him and he’s a fan favorite, but I don’t think he has the emotional wherewithal to be the Bachelor. He also said something about Becca being “the only bachelorette” he’d ever want, so my guess is he’s a no go.
- Peter Krause. Ah yes, a mystical unicorn Peter Krause season… Will we get it? Probably not. Can I still dream about it? Definitely yes.
- Jason. I think they have a real winner in Jason. Top 3, but we still don’t know that much about him. Charismatic, believes in “the process”, and had a super classy exit this season. Barring anyone from Paradise stealing the show, I think it’ll be Jason.
- Connor. We didn’t get to know Connor too well this season, but he’s on Paradise and had a strong contingent of fans once they saw how hot he was in glasses. I think he has the potential to really shine on Paradise so we’ll see.
As of right now, I think it’ll be Jason – I think he’s a good candidate and I would definitely watch that season. I doubt they’ll pull another Arie, where they choose a lead no one knows, so I think it’ll definitely be someone we recognize. But I think we need to watch Paradise for clues – I wouldn’t be surprised if someone’s storyline from there carries over either.
So there you have it. More of my feelings about the Bachelorette than you ever wanted to read. If you’re looking for more of my pop culture ramblings, check out: what I thought about The Proposal, a theory I have about Instagram, and why I’m glad Mean Girls didn’t win at this year’s Tony Awards.