Vines on a Red House with a Volkswagen Bug

A Life Update from Madison!

Greetings from Madison, friends! In a whirlwind of events over the last several weeks I’ve found myself back in the Dairyland and, honestly, I’m so excited to be back. At first I felt a little weird moving back when I was literally just here, but I got a great offer at a small marketing agency and everything just sort of fell into place. So, why not?! Life is funny like that sometimes.

It’s daunting moving for a job, even if it’s back to a town you know and love. I felt a lot of uncertainty and fear after I committed to move back. What if I hate my new job? What if I feel like an idiot for moving back? What if I feel left out now that I don’t work with all my friends? It was paralyzing. Instead of being excited that I finally got a job offer after months of job searching, I felt so stressed and sick.

I think I just had such a tough time in my last job that I was terrified this would be the same way. But then I realized that it can never be the same way because I’m not the same person.  I’m so much more confident in the workplace, I know how to manage my work and time, I can speak my mind when I see something wrong. I will never be that nervous 22-year-old fresh out of grad school and terrified of making a mistake and I’m GRATEFUL for that.

Sure, I’m coming back to a city I’ve lived in before and I’m living 3 blocks away from my old apartment, but things feel different this time. I feel like myself again. I don’t feel like I have to hide who I am or dim my shine anymore. I feel a lightness I thought I’d lost. I feel a sense of control and direction that I didn’t have before.

Is this my dream job? Probably not. But it’s a step in the right direction, it’s a better offer than I had at my last job (if we’re being honest), and one of my clients has a raccoon in their office so it certainly has it’s perks lol. I also think I’ve let go of the “dream job” notion at this point and am starting to see my career in the long-term. It’s tough when you see people on social media with these really cool jobs right out of school (and fair play to them!), but for most of us it’s going to take time and exploration and a few office raccoons to get it right.

All in all – things aren’t perfect, but for the first time in so long I’m embracing being in transition and am feeling really good about it. I’m leaning into things that make happy. I’m baking weird shit. I’m decorating my bathroom with boob decor. I’m watching a lot of reality TV. And that makes me really happy.

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